Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting an easy ride! I'm a sucker for punishment and making sure I push myself and my practice to the limit. However, I feel as though up until now, I had some control of things. Now it feels as though I'm a step behind. Some days several steps. Or perhaps I am just more critical of myself then I was before?
I constantly ask myself the question: Am I doing the best I can for my students? The answer is always yes. But I can't help feeling that it isn't enough anymore.
I have been reading a few blogs and articles about the 'Third Year Blues' - This was mentioned to me recently by a good friend and colleague after I came down with a second burst of sickness for the term. I brushed it off - of course not! But perhaps I was wrong. My second year of teaching was an especially rewarding one. I began studying (something I never thought I would do again), I had a successful personal inquiry using ICT to boost literacy in the classroom, I started working with a supportive team in a fantastic school and of course I completed my provisional registration and gained my full.
This year is a little different - My personal inquiry has had elements of success, but it hasn't come easily and it is strewn with challenges, failures, roadblocks and reflections. I am still studying but it's taking a lot longer to get myself back in to the routine of doing daily readings than I had expected. My immune system has taken a beating with an unusual amount of sickness this year. I feel like I haven't been myself. Success simply isn't coming easily.
I started this post to have a vent. I have, and in the process I've had that 'get over it!' moment - I know that this lack of success is a good thing. It doesn't feel very good... but it is what learning is all about! I just need to keep this in mind. I am well and truly in the pit.
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| That's me, right in the bottom there... Picture Cred: http://www.st-matthews.leeds.sch.uk/cms/media/Picture1(1).jpg |
So - what is there to do but fight my way out of it? Like the quote we religiously tell our students:
"I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work"
- Thomas Edison
My second year teaching was great and I remember finding my third year sluggish. Chin up kiddo, we all have our times when teaching seems like a big pile of poo (or maybe that's just me!), but that's because we care a lot about what we do. Oh, and remember, there are children out there who are really looking forward to having you as their teacher.
ReplyDeleteMy second year teaching was great and I remember finding my third year sluggish. Chin up kiddo, we all have our times when teaching seems like a big pile of poo (or maybe that's just me!), but that's because we care a lot about what we do. Oh, and remember, there are children out there who are really looking forward to having you as their teacher.
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